Single Mom's Stand Up!!!

I've been a huge fan of a single mom blog on a popular women's magazine. The blogger accidentally got prego and the father walked away. As in, signed over his rights, threatened her with legal action if she named him in her blog, and even his parents have said they want nothing to do with the baby. Warm and fuzzy right? Well this woman stepped up to the plate like so many women end up doing and provides for herself and her son very well.

One of my best friends has my undying admiration and I don't know that she knows it (well she will now!). Her son's father walked out on them right before Christmas last year. She could have fallen apart, tucked her tail in and went home (I wouldn't have faulted her if she had), told SD she'd do anything - just come back, but she didnt. Mi amiga cut the path and moved on. Of course she has difficult times because she didn't expect to be in this position. Her life was built around a dual income home. So to all of a sudden have that taken away is disarming. But being the strong woman that she is she shouldered on. I'm so proud of her.

So if you haven't gathered in the, what, 3 posts that I've done (lol) I'm a single mom too. Or unmarried mom. Whatever - look, I'm not married and I have a child, but the father is definitely in our daughter's life, ok?? Haha. Seriously though, I never expected to be in this situation and I can't imagine my life any other way. I can't fathom being footloose and fancy free at the ripe Trophy-wife age of 26. What would I do if all I had to do after work was go home? Would I hit up every happy hour in town? Take a nap? Cook lavish meals because I had the time? Watch TV? I dont know, and I dont want to know. Would I still have the body of a teenager with no hips and no a$$? I may not like my stomach but I definitely like my hips and a$$ so I dont want to know that either!!!

When my daughter's with me she's mine. I don't know why, but her father rarely calls when she's with me. I've given him my opinion on that and it's done nothing. So whatever, he can explain to Sassy when she's old enough to understand. Sassy's with her dad every weekend and I make sure I go see her on Fridays at school, and try to call on Saturday so she knows Mommy loves her and is missing her. I do miss her when she's gone. She drives me crazy when she's around but I miss her dearly when she's away. Even during the day I'm like "hmm, wonder whats going on at school."

I don't have it as bad as plenty of women I know who end up raising child(ren) alone. Sassy's father is there and an integral part of her life. Do I still feel like I'm alone in raising her? Actually, yeah sometimes I do. Certain things wouldnt get done if it weren't for me. I found Sassy's pediatrician, her dentist, her first two preschools (I'll give him credit, they weren't that great though but I went with what info I had), planned all of her birthday parties, make her annual appointments and the majority of the ones that aren't planned (sick appts), and take her to the majority of her appointments - which he may or may not attend. Many of these events take place during the week while Sassy's with me, and her father works a demanding job, while mine is slightly more flexible, however it would be nice to have someone I could lean on who would say "You know what? I'll take over, don't worry about it."

That's something I worry about a little bit, that when I get married I won't be able to let go of the control I have. Of course I'll know better than my husband about what's best for our kids. He can't possibly do things the way they should be done. I know for a fact that it's going to cause a problem in our marriage. Look at me talking like I'm married! haha!

At the end of the day this is my life, one that I chose to live this way. I love my baby and part of loving her is making sure she has everything she needs and a lot of what she wants. So if that means I have to do everything that needs to be done then it's a burden I happily shoulder.