Stacked!!!

I'm not sure where they came from, but they're permanently on display for everyone to see. They certainly get me plenty of attention, not all of it positive. Boyfriend's definitely enjoy them. The best thing I've ever done with them was to nurse my daughter. That's right, I'm talking about my breasts.

This weekend I took Frick-n-Frack to be measured. I have the hardest time finding bras that fit well and give me good support. Support is key for me, I'm top-heavy, and let's just say the girls aren't as perky as they used to be. Plus, I don't want to look like I have a uni-boob, nor do I want to look unnatural with my boobs up around my neck. I'm not striving for the Pam Anderson look.

I'd heard an ad on the radio about a spot in Vienna called Trousseau that sells bras, lingerie, wedding night paraphernalia, etc. They're supposed to be experts in bra sizing. I knew I'd be out that way having dinner with Teeny (Hi Teeny!) so I figured I'd try them out.

When I walked in the store I immediately noticed how the store resembled a french boudoir. The lighting was soft, the paint/wallpaper a soft pink, the decorations romantic and flowery. Lingerie was hung against the walls. A (very) young woman asked what she could help me with and I told her I wanted to be measured. She took me to the back into a fitting room and asked what size I'd been wearing. Ever since I can remember I've been a 34D. She measured me around my ribcage with my shirt and bra still on and said "Well I'm measuring you at a 32." You could have knocked me over with a feather!!! A 32???? She offered to grab a bra for me to try on and said that if it was too tight she'd grab a 34, but please just try it on.

Best.Bra.Ever!!! When I tried it on I felt like I had a brand new shape. I had support, comfort, smoothness, and even some lift. I checked the tag to see what the size was...32DDD! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa?!?!!?!? Triple D??? No Freakin Way! Needless to say, I walked out of Trousseau wearing this fabulous (and expensive) bra. That young lady is good at what she does because I also got a mesh lingerie laundry bag and special detergent. She said regular detergents like Tide, Whisk, and Cheer leave a film on your bras that can cause the elastic band to lose it's elasticity. If I wash the bra right it'll last for 18 months. SOLD!!!!

All this time I've been wearing the wrong size. Looking and feeling unnatural. Did you know some 80% of women wear the wrong bra size? Victoria's Secret would have you believe that bras only come in 32A-42-DD but there's a huge range of sizes because women come in a huge range of sizes. How about 30AAA-54J?? Yes, there really are bras that small and bras that large. Glamour has a pretty good article about wearing the right size bra and finding what works for you - http://www.glamour.com/.

I'll be shopping at Fig Leaves for new bras. They have an amazing selection of bras in a huge array of sizes and styles - including mine! The prices aren't bad, and their return policy looks decent too. Like I need an excuse to shop, but I can't wear this bra every day.

Check out Troussea at http://www.troussealtd.com/.

The List

This post is dedicated to Gullible Girl, a girlfriend of mine from college who's blogging about her dating disasters over on http://www.agulliblegirl.com/. She set up a list of standards that a man must meet in order to even qualify for a date with her. I thought the list was hilarious and have one of my own. These are pretty much non-negotiables by the way:

1. Must love God - I love the Lord with all of my heart, believe in Him and trust in Him. I cannot be unequally yoked. I realize that not everyone is in the same place in their walk but he has to be a believer. No ifs ands or buts.


2. Must love kids - I think this is pretty self explanatory. My ex set the bar high when it comes to taking an interest in his lady love's offspring. He would find stuff for us to do together, the three of us. It never felt forced, or like he was only interested because he was trying to win points with me. I know he genuinely loves her. The next guy's going to have to show that he can love her as well. I know every man is different, but if the ex can do it, so can another man. Plus my daughter's easy to love, so there!


3. Must have a plan of action - Homeboy's gotta be about something and making moves. I don't care if you're a trash man, but be a trashman on a mission to trash supervisor. If you drive buses then drive that bus on into the management office. "I'm a movement by myself, but I'm a force when we're together" 'Nuff said.


4. Must be handsome/killer smile/beautiful eyes/sexxy dimples/sexyfied swagger or all of the above - Mud ducks need not apply. Thank you.


5. Cannot smoke (anything!) or drink excessively - I know, I've eliminated half the male population ages 26-35, but there's nothing worse than a guy who every weekend talks about how blasted he got, or how he drank the "entire bottle of henny by myself!!!" And smoking? Big no no...You're intentionally putting crap in your body that will kill you. Smart. Real smart.


6. Has to dress the part - I dated a guy once who thought the height of fashion was a huge white tee, sweat pants, and timbs. Wanting to make sure he thought I was the cutest thing ever I made sure I was always decked out when going to see him. So here I am in a cute sweater, jeans, heels, hair did, makeup done, and he's looking like he just left a Soulja Boy video shoot. Needless to say, along with other reasons, I realized our incompatibility and stopped seeing him. I don't care if you wear button downs, polo's, sweaters, vintage tees, whatever, just make sure it's nice and neat and that I'll want to be seen walking through the mall with you while you buy me stuff (I take that back, if you're buying me stuff I don't care if you look like T-Pain...I kid, I kid!!). Take some care with your appearance for heaven's sake.
7. Be a gentleman - Before the dudes jump down my throat, that doesn't mean paying every time we go to out. That means, open my car door, help me with my coat, come to the door to pick me up, don't have me driving all over NoVa to meet you, show an interest in getting to know me, walk me to my car - not just your front door when it's time for me to go. It's these things that aren't that big but show that you're thoughtful.
8. Don't be so quick to see my Victoria's Secrets - Guys, I know, it's so hard because I'm sexy as hell, but trying to introduce that into the relationship after week 2 is a surefire way to piss me off and get you cussed out. You're clearly not about anything if that's the only thing on your mind after such a short period of time. Here are your walking papers, be gone.

This list is by no means all encompassing but it is a the bare minimum that a guy must do to for me to even consider being with him. I think all women should have a list to start with. Add to it as you experience life's lessons. What worked for me at 22 doesn't work for me at 26 probably won't work for me at 32. I tell you this much, men who failed to exhibit just one of these traits didn't last long, no matter how much they liked me or I may have liked them. And not to be corny, but the man who exhibits these characteristics and wins my heart will truly have riches beyond compare...and so will I.

Single Mom's Stand Up!!!

I've been a huge fan of a single mom blog on a popular women's magazine. The blogger accidentally got prego and the father walked away. As in, signed over his rights, threatened her with legal action if she named him in her blog, and even his parents have said they want nothing to do with the baby. Warm and fuzzy right? Well this woman stepped up to the plate like so many women end up doing and provides for herself and her son very well.

One of my best friends has my undying admiration and I don't know that she knows it (well she will now!). Her son's father walked out on them right before Christmas last year. She could have fallen apart, tucked her tail in and went home (I wouldn't have faulted her if she had), told SD she'd do anything - just come back, but she didnt. Mi amiga cut the path and moved on. Of course she has difficult times because she didn't expect to be in this position. Her life was built around a dual income home. So to all of a sudden have that taken away is disarming. But being the strong woman that she is she shouldered on. I'm so proud of her.

So if you haven't gathered in the, what, 3 posts that I've done (lol) I'm a single mom too. Or unmarried mom. Whatever - look, I'm not married and I have a child, but the father is definitely in our daughter's life, ok?? Haha. Seriously though, I never expected to be in this situation and I can't imagine my life any other way. I can't fathom being footloose and fancy free at the ripe Trophy-wife age of 26. What would I do if all I had to do after work was go home? Would I hit up every happy hour in town? Take a nap? Cook lavish meals because I had the time? Watch TV? I dont know, and I dont want to know. Would I still have the body of a teenager with no hips and no a$$? I may not like my stomach but I definitely like my hips and a$$ so I dont want to know that either!!!

When my daughter's with me she's mine. I don't know why, but her father rarely calls when she's with me. I've given him my opinion on that and it's done nothing. So whatever, he can explain to Sassy when she's old enough to understand. Sassy's with her dad every weekend and I make sure I go see her on Fridays at school, and try to call on Saturday so she knows Mommy loves her and is missing her. I do miss her when she's gone. She drives me crazy when she's around but I miss her dearly when she's away. Even during the day I'm like "hmm, wonder whats going on at school."

I don't have it as bad as plenty of women I know who end up raising child(ren) alone. Sassy's father is there and an integral part of her life. Do I still feel like I'm alone in raising her? Actually, yeah sometimes I do. Certain things wouldnt get done if it weren't for me. I found Sassy's pediatrician, her dentist, her first two preschools (I'll give him credit, they weren't that great though but I went with what info I had), planned all of her birthday parties, make her annual appointments and the majority of the ones that aren't planned (sick appts), and take her to the majority of her appointments - which he may or may not attend. Many of these events take place during the week while Sassy's with me, and her father works a demanding job, while mine is slightly more flexible, however it would be nice to have someone I could lean on who would say "You know what? I'll take over, don't worry about it."

That's something I worry about a little bit, that when I get married I won't be able to let go of the control I have. Of course I'll know better than my husband about what's best for our kids. He can't possibly do things the way they should be done. I know for a fact that it's going to cause a problem in our marriage. Look at me talking like I'm married! haha!

At the end of the day this is my life, one that I chose to live this way. I love my baby and part of loving her is making sure she has everything she needs and a lot of what she wants. So if that means I have to do everything that needs to be done then it's a burden I happily shoulder.