The List

This post is dedicated to Gullible Girl, a girlfriend of mine from college who's blogging about her dating disasters over on http://www.agulliblegirl.com/. She set up a list of standards that a man must meet in order to even qualify for a date with her. I thought the list was hilarious and have one of my own. These are pretty much non-negotiables by the way:

1. Must love God - I love the Lord with all of my heart, believe in Him and trust in Him. I cannot be unequally yoked. I realize that not everyone is in the same place in their walk but he has to be a believer. No ifs ands or buts.


2. Must love kids - I think this is pretty self explanatory. My ex set the bar high when it comes to taking an interest in his lady love's offspring. He would find stuff for us to do together, the three of us. It never felt forced, or like he was only interested because he was trying to win points with me. I know he genuinely loves her. The next guy's going to have to show that he can love her as well. I know every man is different, but if the ex can do it, so can another man. Plus my daughter's easy to love, so there!


3. Must have a plan of action - Homeboy's gotta be about something and making moves. I don't care if you're a trash man, but be a trashman on a mission to trash supervisor. If you drive buses then drive that bus on into the management office. "I'm a movement by myself, but I'm a force when we're together" 'Nuff said.


4. Must be handsome/killer smile/beautiful eyes/sexxy dimples/sexyfied swagger or all of the above - Mud ducks need not apply. Thank you.


5. Cannot smoke (anything!) or drink excessively - I know, I've eliminated half the male population ages 26-35, but there's nothing worse than a guy who every weekend talks about how blasted he got, or how he drank the "entire bottle of henny by myself!!!" And smoking? Big no no...You're intentionally putting crap in your body that will kill you. Smart. Real smart.


6. Has to dress the part - I dated a guy once who thought the height of fashion was a huge white tee, sweat pants, and timbs. Wanting to make sure he thought I was the cutest thing ever I made sure I was always decked out when going to see him. So here I am in a cute sweater, jeans, heels, hair did, makeup done, and he's looking like he just left a Soulja Boy video shoot. Needless to say, along with other reasons, I realized our incompatibility and stopped seeing him. I don't care if you wear button downs, polo's, sweaters, vintage tees, whatever, just make sure it's nice and neat and that I'll want to be seen walking through the mall with you while you buy me stuff (I take that back, if you're buying me stuff I don't care if you look like T-Pain...I kid, I kid!!). Take some care with your appearance for heaven's sake.
7. Be a gentleman - Before the dudes jump down my throat, that doesn't mean paying every time we go to out. That means, open my car door, help me with my coat, come to the door to pick me up, don't have me driving all over NoVa to meet you, show an interest in getting to know me, walk me to my car - not just your front door when it's time for me to go. It's these things that aren't that big but show that you're thoughtful.
8. Don't be so quick to see my Victoria's Secrets - Guys, I know, it's so hard because I'm sexy as hell, but trying to introduce that into the relationship after week 2 is a surefire way to piss me off and get you cussed out. You're clearly not about anything if that's the only thing on your mind after such a short period of time. Here are your walking papers, be gone.

This list is by no means all encompassing but it is a the bare minimum that a guy must do to for me to even consider being with him. I think all women should have a list to start with. Add to it as you experience life's lessons. What worked for me at 22 doesn't work for me at 26 probably won't work for me at 32. I tell you this much, men who failed to exhibit just one of these traits didn't last long, no matter how much they liked me or I may have liked them. And not to be corny, but the man who exhibits these characteristics and wins my heart will truly have riches beyond compare...and so will I.